(no subject)

[jfb]

From last week's New York Times Magazine, an article on the dating habits of contemporary teens, or rather non-dating habits.

It's not that teenagers have given up on love altogether. Most of the high-school students I spent time with said they expected to meet the right person, fall in love and marry -- eventually. It's just that high school, many insist, isn't the place to worry about that. High school is about keeping your options open. Relationships are about closing them. As these teenagers see it, marriage and monogamy will seamlessly replace their youthful hookup careers sometime in their mid- to late 20's -- or, as one high-school boy from Rhode Island told me online, when ''we turn 30 and no one hot wants us anymore.''

Be prepared to go "Ew" a lot.

Comments

Re: Ew

[jfb.livejournal.com]

Well, first, don't assume the article is an accurate representation of the general public. Consider things like how the author found his sources (trolling chat rooms, sounds like), who chose to talk to him or not, whether they're telling the truth as they know it, and whether they're right.

Strangely, it hadn't occurred to me to have a low opinion of teenagers because some of them indulge in meaningless (or meant-to-be-meaningless) sexual flings. My take on the whole thing was that we as a society have let them down, by providing the wrong role models, lack of guidance, etc. Typical bleeding-heart liberal stuff.

I feel so old.

I enjoyed the gay/straight thing too, although I thought the best part of all was the historical review--how "normal" behavior for young men and women has shifted back and forth between monogamy and, uh... lepidopterousness... all through the century.

Re: Ew

[greyaenigma.livejournal.com]

Lepidopterous would assume breeding, right? Even the most casual of those in his article seem to be avoiding that. And I do find it encouraging how open and aware they are these days about sex, even if I'm a bit distressed about how casual they are about it. Makes me feel old too.

I liked the history lesson myself, although I note that most of the sources seem to be people writing in to a particular magazine, which didn't seem like an entirely characteristic sample. And I admit this article's source's may be suspect, but he did at least talk to teens in multiple parts of the country and seemed to be talking to an awful lot of sources. Certainly not a local hoax. I question whether they're right too, but that's always a question in stories like this -- in fact, shedding light on the inconsistencies in what the sources are saying is even part of the reportage.

Particular quote that stuck out was the guy who couldn't get hookups with girls his age, talking about being able to get underclasswomen "because they look at us like gods, and of course we are". That was pretty sad. It speaks a lot to how this all plays into a complicated game of self-esteem (and in some cases self-delusion).

Re: Ew

[jfb.livejournal.com]

That was one of several comments where I would really like to have heard the speaker's tone of voice.

[dougo.livejournal.com]

I don't feel like reading a 9-page article right now, but, what's wrong with indulging in meaningless sexual flings? Or was that your point?

[jfb.livejournal.com]

The meaninglessness, mostly.

Ah...

[talking-sock.livejournal.com]

The warm fuzzy of realizing that you haven't changed in the past ten years :-)