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so much for american bandstand
A while ago I entered one of those song contests--persuaded mostly by Russell's argument that, well, somebody's got to win them. Long story short: Somebody else. But what I'd forgotten was that this one promised a written evaluation from an "industry pro". Today it showed up in the mail, and for some reason I thought it would be fun to share it.
There were two main criticisms of my song "By Your Side". The first was that I chose the wrong title. No argument there. The second was that each section--verses, chorus, bridge--"seems like a completely different story." This one took me by surprise--unlike a lot of my songs, there's never been a question in my mind that "By Your Side" tells a single, simple story.
But there are gaps in the story--something I always like, because it leaves room for a hypothetical dedicated listener to make the story their own. The industry pro, on the other hand, writes that a radio or performance audience "will encounter a lot of distractions, so don't make them work so hard"--a fair point. Also, I think I made a tactical error in giving a major character a name more commonly associated in most listeners' minds with a large American city.
On the bright side, I got very high marks for prosody.
There were two main criticisms of my song "By Your Side". The first was that I chose the wrong title. No argument there. The second was that each section--verses, chorus, bridge--"seems like a completely different story." This one took me by surprise--unlike a lot of my songs, there's never been a question in my mind that "By Your Side" tells a single, simple story.
But there are gaps in the story--something I always like, because it leaves room for a hypothetical dedicated listener to make the story their own. The industry pro, on the other hand, writes that a radio or performance audience "will encounter a lot of distractions, so don't make them work so hard"--a fair point. Also, I think I made a tactical error in giving a major character a name more commonly associated in most listeners' minds with a large American city.
On the bright side, I got very high marks for prosody.
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It's got a good beat, you can dance to it. I give it a nine.
Why no link to "By Your Side"?
Re: It's got a good beat, you can dance to it. I give it a nine.
gaps in the story
(Anonymous) 2005-04-12 09:22 pm (UTC)(link)I went to DisneyWorld right after it opened. I walked by "Cinderella's Castle". On it, they have a mosaic. But, while "mosaic" usually refers to images created from elements coarsly cut, this one had a fine chiaroscuro, with special, tiny tiles all colored in smooth shading. So the Disney mosaic had no mosaic. That pretty much says it all for Disney films, and I'm quite happy to generalize it to include most popular culture in this one.
-Bob Edgar